I usually focus- for the most part- on other so-called family members but not my mother in blog posts, I guess I thought I would feel guilty, but why should I? She NEVER feels guilty about how she has always made me feel. I could be crying buckets of tears right in front of her & she could care less. How do you have a daughter ( your first born) who has severe anxiety/depression/anger issues & NOT give a FUCK?! She is just as much to blame as my father, grandmother/ extended family. Like the other day, she yells at me, then I confront her about 15 minutes or so later and she says, she didn't yell at me, & even though I'm now yelling and crying, & my chest is hurting, she simultaneously GASLIGHTS me, & acts like SHE'S the victim. Sometimes I think she can't stand me. In some ways, she treats me like her mother treated her. We have always had this antagonistic, combative thing going on, in addition to the invalidation and not providing the comfort that mothers are supposed to give.
She probably has more emotional attachment to her clothes & definitely my sisters than she ever had for me.
She also has the nerve(lately) to accuse me of not letting her say what she has to say, ( a BOLD FACED LIE) when she ALWAYS interrupts me before I can finish what I'm trying to say or just talks OVER me.
Also what kind of person will say something to me while she's listening to music in her headphones but it never occurs to her to take them off so she can hear my response, I guess I'm not supposed to respond, cause what I have to say doesn't matter, cause I don't matter...
