Defeated.

 I remember the day before my cat died, I came downstairs and saw her sitting on the couch with blood pouring out of her beautiful eyes and looking at me with an expression of despair- probably because certain people were walking past her & NOT BOTHERING TO NOTICE her condition.... 

Sounds like my WHOLE life, except for the blood. NO ONE noticed MY DESPAIR.....

Bam Bam - featuring the GODMOTHER of grunge Tina Bell

 

Right again....

HELLO! I have CPTSD/Childhood Trauma & I don't feel like SUPPRESSING my anger and putting on a FAKE smile to impress simple-minded people, so they won't call me an "angry black woman".

EDITED 12/26/23- FINALLY, confronted the nefarious, empty-headed snake, my so-called Aunt Margie- about certain things she's been doing the past 8 years and not only did she LIE about EVERYTHING (GASLIGHTING), my mother sat there basically calling me a liar, not taking my side at all, as usual...... 

It's like they were a tag team! (Reminds me of some of those recurring dreams I have) And this proves why standing up for myself doesn't work, cause I knew my mother wouldn't have my back, when the moment finally happened. And then snake Margie had the nerve to come at me for yelling, they're basically proving they don't care about my mental health and telling me to stop yelling, but its ok for them to YELL AT ME! It's perfectly ok for me to be bottling up anger/rage for DECADES- anger caused by these people, but I better not yell at them, even though they won't change or admit they did anything to me. 

Less than 24 hours after my mother said to me- OH POOR YOU!- she says "You're not gonna make me feel guilty".... she should feel guilty telling someone who you know has anxiety/anger issues, "OH POOR YOU"

"In spite of my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage"

I have no idea of what that Smashing Pumpkins song is about😁

But the world is a vampire!

Anyway, black women aren't allowed to have childhood trauma/ CPTSD - because we will DEFINITELY have ANGER ISSUES, and all people will see is "the angry black woman".... and there will be NO empathy for whatever we have or are going through. No compassion or support.

We get accused of being angry even when we're not, we have to walk around like a smiley faced fool ALL THE TIME!