Hell is other people - he said it, but....

 I could've done without the last part, though....

People will always live down to my expectations!

More of my truth!

 Sobbing like a 5 year old, oh yes,  I've been on & off sobbing since I was 5, & for the most part, a nervous wreck, angry, sad, insecure, unsafe and contemplating suicide..... and my so-called family including my MOTHER never noticed.

(Didn't care what I went through at school either, and those damn teachers didn't seem to notice I was a sad, miserable child.) 

And in those RARE moments I was happy, it didn't last long. NOT once, did ANYONE ever ask if I was OK.... cause THEY don't care if I'm ok, that's what happens when you're RAISED BY NARCISSISTS! 

Like I said on another post, my mother can barely stand me, I NEVER felt like she wanted me around, and I can't talk to her cause she really can't be bothered but I better not disrespect her, & I BETTER help her, when she needs it, with a smile on my face.

Check this out, one time early this year, I made the mistake of reading out loud to my mother, one of many "mental health" or whatever articles about my issues- this one in particular proved that my type of  "family environment" causes anxiety and her response to this was "OH, POOR YOU!" 

Now, does that sound like someone who REALLY gives a damn?! She is never on my side, I should have been able to cry on her shoulder..

Anyway, time to talk about what was happening when I was 5 years old, my mother was in the hospital a lot when she was pregnant and at least, one of those times... my father left me in the car by myself at night, while he was in a bar or whatever and I remember crying or sobbing hysterically, cause I was worrying he was never coming back... I don't remember what happened when he finally came back. I also don't remember if it happened more than once. 

Once again, I'M A 5 YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL CRYING HYSTERICALLY IN THE CAR ALONE CAUSE MY FATHER JUST LEFT ME ALONE IN THAT CAR AT NIGHT, WHILE HE WAS DOING WHATEVER, PROBABLY CHEATING ON MY MOTHER... 

Of course, if I told my aunt, cousin, or sisters about it, they probably wouldn't even believe me. So they can kiss my ass,  and don't cry at my funeral!

Jethro Tull- Pan Dance

 

It hasn't been that long since I posted about a Jethro Tull song but listening to it, makes me think of something....

It sounds like the perfect music to play while MAKING LOVE- which I doubt most people even do. Something beautiful and romantic. 

Most of humanity ain't into that,  they would rather do the things acted out in THOSE videos, and magazines, things a perverted industry made up- an example of humanity's depravity and how warped most people are. Serial killers ALWAYS have a collection of that crap. Of course, that sicko pervert Steve Powell LOVED watching that FILTH!

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.... rhymes with corn, and begins with the letter P

You're not allowed to criticize that "art form" or you will be called a prude... frankly, there are worse things to be!

Ignorance is genetic!

 Something happened last night that reminded me of a vile pattern- my piece of shit cousin Rhonda Thompas Morton just happens to leave her room to walk to the bathroom( with her pajama pants at her ankles and top up, so her buttcheeks are EXPOSED for some inexplicable reason) as I'm walking up the steps to go to my bedroom... This was not the first time I was exposed to dumbass family member's PRIVATE PARTS, my grandmother used to get up at night to go to the bathroom with a camisole and NO underwear on(her bedroom was connected to my room), Derick Jr. opened  the bathroom door once as his towel falls off and his penis is exposed, as I am walking to my room, I think he wanted that to happen, cause he had to hear me walking,  right before he opened the door, his girlfriend Naje- naked in the hallway as I leave my room AGAIN...  How dare I leave my bedroom or come upstairs to go to bed or the bathroom, trouble finds me and knowing the way THEY are, it's somehow my fault.... funny how no one EVER sees me half-naked... I guess I'm the only one in this IGNORANT family with COMMON SENSE and DIGNITY!

And if I remember correctly in another post, I mentioned that the queen of the imbeciles(aunt Margie) during my childhood would leave the bathroom after washing, completely naked, apparently it took her awhile to figure out what a bathrobe was or just to take her bra & panties in the DAMN BATHROOM WITH HER!

Yes, people who leave their bedroom or bathroom or walk around the house with private parts exposed when they live with people they aren't sleeping with, all willy-nilly are IGNORANT! 

Not to mention, the sitting on the toilet with the door OPEN- which both Margie & Rhonda are guilty of.

The AUDACITY of humanity!

The funny thing is childhood never really ends - at least not the bad parts- no matter where you go, there are still BULLIES everywhere..... 

And people are really something.... if someone is acting crazy outside- like talking to themselves really loud or yelling at random people or whatever - other people can't wait to laugh at or judge this person, like "how dare they be mentally ill"...

Meanwhile MOST of these people spend their worthless lives constantly doing or saying things that cause people to end up going CRAZY! The fucking nerve.... 

"And the WOUNDS that some WORDS leave NEVER HEAL because each time the word is thrown at you, labeled on you, you bleed afresh from it. It's more like a WHIP that CUTS every time, until you feel it must flay the very skin from your bones, & yet outwardly there is no wound to show the world, so they think you are not hurt, when inside, a part of you DIES EVERY TIME."

 Laurell Hamilton

Anyway, I don't fit in with most "aesthetics"/" essences"/ categories/groups/subcultures/ or whatever.... But I DON'T WANT TO FIT IN!

I am dark and moody & proud of it!

Jethro Tull - Baker St Muse

 

Cruella ROCKS!!!!!!

 I had a feeling, I was gonna love this movie.

But I don't know whose dumb idea it was to put 3 of the most overrated. OVERPLAYED songs in this movie - Time of The Season, really?

And don't even get me started on These Boots Are Made for Walkin or I'm Feeling Good- 😫.... come on..

But at least a victim of childhood trauma got her revenge and looked foxy doing it! 

Oh no, she didn't- part 2

 

I love to watch videos of women trying out lipsticks. 

Men who have a problem with women wearing makeup- especially lipstick, can DROP DEAD! Always going on and on about wanting a woman to be NATURAL... meanwhile I bet they have no issues with a woman who has fake boobs... Imbeciles!

Average White Band - Soul Searching