The only Christmas song I can stand...

Haven't officially had a panic attack- yet......

Paranoia.....

 

Crying my eyes out. Severe anxiety. Am I a ticking time bomb? Tearful rage while at the computer. My chest felt tight as I banged the keys. Family working my nerves from every angle. I suppress my true feelings. Tormented mind. I've been getting tension headaches for years, and now I'm having pain in my shoulders.  I think there's a mental blockage that always keep me from saying more......

Physically absent father/emotionally absent mother (& extended family on my mother's side), don't know my father's side, as well (didn't have to live with them) although I heard some things about my grandmother on my father's side that make her sound pretty toxic.


https://amotherfarfromhome.com/present-but-absent-parent/












Not one of you could be there for me when I needed you, & I can't count on you to help me feel better, but you can make plenty of snarky comments.

Free myself from toxic family!

Have to get away from these people. Surrounded by ignorant, inconsiderate people. So-called extended family have caused as much damage as parents, for decades. Affecting my mental & physical well-being- can't focus, non-existent short term memory, bad dreams(usually starring family members & I wake up, practically in tears) - diagnosed with anxiety disorder.








Toxic... like aunt Margie who tells LIES about me....  THROWING ME UNDER THE BUS ALL MY LIFE (well, since I was 10)- the same aunt who laughed when I mentioned, as a kid, that I wanted to be a singer or actor or whatever, the same aunt who loved to look in my drawers, closet, storage bins when I wasn't in my room, even messing with the trash to see what I threw in there. And, for some reason, when I was growing up, her favorite words about me, in such a venomous & hateful tone (imagine having a hateful tone about a child, who is your blood) were - "She ain't doing nothing"- never saying that about any of the other kids in the house. (She always has a venomous tone when talking about me)




Not to mention, her evil eyes watching me all the time, staring at me.....  
And her vile daughter(& husband) and vile grandson (& baby mama) with their malicious words/lies & interloping ways....






I hope she reads these things I'm writing about her ... not that the guttersnipe knows what the word venomous means...




Edited 2/13/19-And this she-devil, sewing-machine snake had the nerve to scold me, about the way I take the baked mac & cheese out of the pan when I'm fixing my plate, like I'm a damn kid..... she thinks she has the right to talk to me any ole kind of way, she would never talk to anyone else in the family like that, not her daughter, her grandson, or his baby mama but as usual, she talks to me like a dog, just like she did when I was a kid. What right does she have to be angry at me ever....the way she has treated me, I should be yelling at her, & talking to her with disrespect & contempt. She deserves it, she should've been watching her back, not tempting me to finally stand up to her or worse.
If you're reading this, I HATE YOU, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!

Kill The Messenger....DAMNIT!!!!

Whatever you do, watch Kill The Messenger or even better- read the book!






RIP Gary Webb...








Edited 1/23/18- Meanwhile, some movie glorifying The Washington Post is constantly being promoted on tv and just got nominated for a best picture Oscar..... of course, this is the same so-called newspaper that helped destroy Gary Webb's career......I don't remember Kill The Messenger getting nominated for best picture... FUCK The Washington Post!

FUNKY PLAYLIST!!!

https://open.spotify.com/user/topofthecity/playlist/7CgQyBdhLDsz9epofqP1Wj






EnJOY!








The Brothers Johnson, James Brown, Slave, Cameo, Ohio Players, etc.

And when you click on that link, you can scroll down for more of my playlists.

Madhouse Four

Prince & Eric Leeds.... YES!

Prince - Glam Slam (Official Music Video)

Sorry, don't feel like waiting til April.... always loved this video...sorta forgot about it, doesn't get shown much....




Love Cat Glovers' choreography.  Enjoyed her dancing more than any other Prince dancer.

I want my headphones to leak sound!!!!!!

So, let me get this straight, I have to put up with barking dogs, ambulance sirens, people talking loud & saying nothing, & of course, people driving past me or my house blasting their trap "music" or whatever, & that's all ok... BUT if you can hear the music coming from my headphones, (which I just found out is called -sound leakage or some nonsense) then somehow, I'm disturbing people or I'm the scum of the earth or something?   Gimme a break!


Besides, I want people to hear what I listen to..... the other day, I walked & listened to Get On The Good Foot by James Brown over & over, & had such pride about my good taste in music, & I wanted the fools around me to know that I'm NOT listening to what most people listen to these days.






On the other hand, I doubt you can  REALLY hear my music if there is alot of traffic, when you walk past me... cars are louder than anybody's headphones!

So, I guess Meathead really is a Meathead!

And Hilary's husband helped destroy Yugoslavia's democracy.... HYPOCRITE to the extreme!






If you THINK about it, Hollywood has ALWAYS been anti-Russian...... how many damn tv crime dramas have to have some storyline about the "Russian mob"? !


And don't even get me started on the Law & Order: SVU episode depicting all Russian women as heartless golddiggers.




And let's not forget about Rocky IV!

My spotify collection...

http://open.spotify.com/user/topofthecity

James Brown-Make It Funky (Pt. 1)

Bootsy Collins- Psychoticbumpschool (Live)

Now, this is one of the best live tracks you'll ever hear.
When I listened to this the other day, I got the chills (in a good way ?)




Meanwhile, for some reason, on my way here, I had to walk past 2 bozos with freakin BEATS HEADPHONES on...... of course.... the fact that one would wear or use something called BEATS suggests they have bad taste in music, and are part of the problem!

Parliament - P-Funk (Wants to Get Funked Up) (1975)

Where do I start.... the horn arrangement, the synthesizer (is it an ARP string ensemble?), the solos, the chorus, even the lyrics. One of the most PERFECT songs in the history of music!

How To See Through NY Times Propaganda

Sometimes this guy is annoying, but this is one of the times when he's right on!






Sometimes he's funny.... sometimes...

Parliament- Funkin' For Fun

Another superb P-Funk horn arrangement.








Meanwhile, we're now being bombarded by repulsive non-music in the latest Cheerios ad that makes me wanna cut my ears off...




"Good Goes Round" my ass!

6:05 Outside the stadium..

Steely Dan again!








Those guitar licks are delectable.




(My favorite part)
Who inspires your fabled fools
That's my claim to fame


Jive Miguel
He's in from Bogota

Steely Dan - Third World Man

I had to post this again, cause the one that I put here before has been deleted or something...








Anyway, this song has a shimmering sound.... talk about ear candy.

Comfort Food- Part 2

A family is supposed to provide MORE than food or clothes on your back, while growing up..... that's the bare MINIMUM!  If there's no empathy or sympathy- if they don't think about your feelings EVER, if they say something unhelpful or sarcastic, or get angry at you when you're upset- as opposed to providing COMFORT or sensitivity....... then its not much of a family.






People don't have anger issues or turn to drugs or alcohol because they didn't have enough material things, its because their EMOTIONAL needs weren't met!




The only times they think of me are when its a negative thought- like when they wanna blame me for something, or have the audacity to say I didn't do something that I know I did do.  Other than that, I'm an afterthought....




And let's not forget, the time, my so-called grandmother told me my hair was a "wreck", never mind, the FACT  that she & no one else in my "family" ever bothered to notice that I've been a freakin nervous wreck for DECADES!

Bootsy Collins Mug Push

"How you gonna party for me"




"The writing on the sign said, stop and rock awhile"

Slave - Slide (1977)

Speaking of "Old-School" R&B radio, why do they play SLAVE's other songs, like the irritating Just A Touch Of  Love WAY more than Slide?!

Brick- Ain't Gonna Hurt Nobody

Poison Indeed!

Recently, a commercial came on about an upcoming concert featuring Bell Biv Devoe, among others, at the beginning of this ad, I heard the phrase - 3 bands that changed the sound of R&B! Hmmm...  first of all, Bell Biv Devoe is NOT a band, they're a group, & second.....  yeah, you're right, unfortunately they may have changed the sound of r&b.
Their biggest hit- Poison- shouldn't even be called an R&B song, its actually more hiphop than R&B. The so-called music is more an example of beats than actual musicianship, and the lyrical content is more in the realm of gangsta rap, with its borderline misogyny- "Keeping one eye open, still clocking the hos" & "Me and the crew used to do her" or whatever........


Nothing like the lyrical & musical substance of 70s & 80s R&B.
R&B has gone downhill since Poison.




And isn't it typical that the mindless masses just LOVE Poison, and the so-called Old School R&B stations bombard us with Poison, instead of superior songs I haven't heard in years.


BBD and some other people dumbed down the sound of R&B!

Tori Amos live - RED LIPS

and raw emotion....

Tori Amos - Doughnut Song

She's not for everybody... but I loved her early stuff.








The Beekeeper made me wanna vomit.

Questioning Party Lines and War Hawks

Sheena Easton Sugar Walls

Some of the best keyboard and guitar riffs you will ever hear...


(And you should know why)








A day late.... one year ago.....

‘One more war based on a total lie’: Protesters across US speak out agai...

Thank you, Sara Flounders for  telling the truth!
Just like Iraq and Vietnam were lies.




Funny how western media doesn't seem to care about the women & children being murdered in Yemen!

Stevie Wonder - You And I (We Can Conquer the World)

If this doesn't make you tear up..... you're dead inside.

The Weight of Chains | Težina lanaca (2010)

This may be the best documentary I've watched..... more truth about U.S. foreign policy.

Comfort food?

If we could get true comfort from our freakin families or other so-called human beings..... then we wouldn't need to turn to food, drugs, alcohol, or other things....




Chew on that!

Tony Toni Tone-Whatever You Want

Another quiet storm classic. Love songs .... remember those?




One of the last quality R&B songs, as opposed to crap like This Is How We Do It- which they put in commercials (of course) ....

Laura Nyro- My Innocence

Here's a link to the trailer for the Laura documentary- Fury In My Soul
http://www.earthworksfilms.com/fury-in-my-soul.php

On Contact: Real purpose of intel report on Russian hacking with Abby Ma...

Although this is not a "political" blog, I like to post things like this, from time to time...


Please click on the article I linked to below, these are things you should know
https://consortiumnews.com/2016/10/28/selling-regime-change-wars-to-the-masses/




Most people, regardless of how many degrees they have - are MISEDUCATED!

Jethro Tull - A Song for Jeffrey

Jethro Tull- A New Day Yesterday (2001 Remastered Version)

The Mahavishnu Orchestra - Dawn

Alexander O'Neal - Sunshine

One of my favorite quiet storm classics..... love that signature Jam and Lewis sound.