Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Monday, December 4, 2017
Haven't officially had a panic attack- yet......
Paranoia.....
Crying my eyes out. Severe anxiety. Am I a ticking time bomb? Tearful rage while at the computer. My chest felt tight as I banged the keys. Family working my nerves from every angle. I suppress my true feelings. Tormented mind. I've been getting tension headaches for years, and now I'm having pain in my shoulders. I think there's a mental blockage that always keep me from saying more......
Physically absent father/emotionally absent mother (& extended family on my mother's side), don't know my father's side, as well (didn't have to live with them) although I heard some things about my grandmother on my father's side that make her sound pretty toxic.
https://amotherfarfromhome.com/present-but-absent-parent/
Not one of you could be there for me when I needed you, & I can't count on you to help me feel better, but you can make plenty of snarky comments.
Physically absent father/emotionally absent mother (& extended family on my mother's side), don't know my father's side, as well (didn't have to live with them) although I heard some things about my grandmother on my father's side that make her sound pretty toxic.
https://amotherfarfromhome.com/present-but-absent-parent/
Not one of you could be there for me when I needed you, & I can't count on you to help me feel better, but you can make plenty of snarky comments.
Friday, December 1, 2017
Free myself from toxic family!
Have to get away from these people. Surrounded by ignorant, inconsiderate people. So-called extended family have caused as much damage as parents, for decades. Affecting my mental & physical well-being- can't focus, non-existent short term memory, bad dreams(usually starring family members & I wake up, practically in tears) - diagnosed with anxiety disorder.
Toxic... like aunt Margie who tells LIES about me.... THROWING ME UNDER THE BUS ALL MY LIFE (well, since I was 10)- the same aunt who laughed when I mentioned, as a kid, that I wanted to be a singer or actor or whatever, the same aunt who loved to look in my drawers, closet, storage bins when I wasn't in my room, even messing with the trash to see what I threw in there. And, for some reason, when I was growing up, her favorite words about me, in such a venomous & hateful tone (imagine having a hateful tone about a child, who is your blood) were - "She ain't doing nothing"- never saying that about any of the other kids in the house. (She always has a venomous tone when talking about me)
Not to mention, her evil eyes watching me all the time, staring at me.....
And her vile daughter(& husband) and vile grandson (& baby mama) with their malicious words/lies & interloping ways....
I hope she reads these things I'm writing about her ... not that the guttersnipe knows what the word venomous means...
Edited 2/13/19-And this she-devil, sewing-machine snake had the nerve to scold me, about the way I take the baked mac & cheese out of the pan when I'm fixing my plate, like I'm a damn kid..... she thinks she has the right to talk to me any ole kind of way, she would never talk to anyone else in the family like that, not her daughter, her grandson, or his baby mama but as usual, she talks to me like a dog, just like she did when I was a kid. What right does she have to be angry at me ever....the way she has treated me, I should be yelling at her, & talking to her with disrespect & contempt. She deserves it, she should've been watching her back, not tempting me to finally stand up to her or worse.
If you're reading this, I HATE YOU, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!
Toxic... like aunt Margie who tells LIES about me.... THROWING ME UNDER THE BUS ALL MY LIFE (well, since I was 10)- the same aunt who laughed when I mentioned, as a kid, that I wanted to be a singer or actor or whatever, the same aunt who loved to look in my drawers, closet, storage bins when I wasn't in my room, even messing with the trash to see what I threw in there. And, for some reason, when I was growing up, her favorite words about me, in such a venomous & hateful tone (imagine having a hateful tone about a child, who is your blood) were - "She ain't doing nothing"- never saying that about any of the other kids in the house. (She always has a venomous tone when talking about me)
Not to mention, her evil eyes watching me all the time, staring at me.....
And her vile daughter(& husband) and vile grandson (& baby mama) with their malicious words/lies & interloping ways....
I hope she reads these things I'm writing about her ... not that the guttersnipe knows what the word venomous means...
Edited 2/13/19-And this she-devil, sewing-machine snake had the nerve to scold me, about the way I take the baked mac & cheese out of the pan when I'm fixing my plate, like I'm a damn kid..... she thinks she has the right to talk to me any ole kind of way, she would never talk to anyone else in the family like that, not her daughter, her grandson, or his baby mama but as usual, she talks to me like a dog, just like she did when I was a kid. What right does she have to be angry at me ever....the way she has treated me, I should be yelling at her, & talking to her with disrespect & contempt. She deserves it, she should've been watching her back, not tempting me to finally stand up to her or worse.
If you're reading this, I HATE YOU, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!
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