Sobbing like a 5 year old, oh yes, I've been on & off sobbing since I was 5, & for the most part, a nervous wreck, angry, sad, insecure, unsafe and contemplating suicide..... and my so-called family including my MOTHER never noticed.
(Didn't care what I went through at school either, and those damn teachers didn't seem to notice I was a sad, miserable child.)
And in those RARE moments I was happy, it didn't last long. NOT once, did ANYONE ever ask if I was OK.... cause THEY don't care if I'm ok, that's what happens when you're RAISED BY NARCISSISTS!
Like I said on another post, my mother can barely stand me, I NEVER felt like she wanted me around, and I can't talk to her cause she really can't be bothered but I better not disrespect her, & I BETTER help her, when she needs it, with a smile on my face.
Check this out, one time early this year, I made the mistake of reading out loud to my mother, one of many "mental health" or whatever articles about my issues- this one in particular proved that my type of "family environment" causes anxiety and her response to this was "OH, POOR YOU!"
Now, does that sound like someone who REALLY gives a damn?! She is never on my side, I should have been able to cry on her shoulder..
Anyway, time to talk about what was happening when I was 5 years old, my mother was in the hospital a lot when she was pregnant and at least, one of those times... my father left me in the car by myself at night, while he was in a bar or whatever and I remember crying or sobbing hysterically, cause I was worrying he was never coming back... I don't remember what happened when he finally came back. I also don't remember if it happened more than once.
Once again, I'M A 5 YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL CRYING HYSTERICALLY IN THE CAR ALONE CAUSE MY FATHER JUST LEFT ME ALONE IN THAT CAR AT NIGHT, WHILE HE WAS DOING WHATEVER, PROBABLY CHEATING ON MY MOTHER...
Of course, if I told my aunt, cousin, or sisters about it, they probably wouldn't even believe me. So they can kiss my ass, and don't cry at my funeral!
